ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize