He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
