so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
