Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
