I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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