The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
