Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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