You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
