Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize