Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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