FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
