it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
i've created a new STD.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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