i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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