The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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