thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
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