Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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