bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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