haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I am mentally ready for anal.
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