No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
