Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
