Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Randomize
