I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
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Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
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I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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