Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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