So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
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