You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
she looked like the before picture.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
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