How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
