I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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