I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
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