i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Randomize
