Someone shit on the floor
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I don't want my vagina anymore.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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