she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize