okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize