Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
