Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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