My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize