please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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