I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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