I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
He had one of those small greek statue penises
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
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