I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Randomize
