She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I'm having to shit out rocks
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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