I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Shame is for Republicans.
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