Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
