I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize