Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
