He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I will pee on everything he values.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
