He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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