the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
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At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
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ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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