Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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