I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
