with your own penis?
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
