And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
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