explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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