i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
