my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
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My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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