It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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