gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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