please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
tequila makes me forget i have legs
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
