I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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