If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
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