they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Randomize
