Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
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