please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
