Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize