Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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