i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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