I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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