hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
