You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
My bed smells like the plague
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
