Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
