He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize
