1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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